More Pathetic Job Postings

Develop and maintain test strategy and test plans for data warehouse and web applications developed using Cognos suite of tools, SQL Server, Oracle, Web Servers, VB, Windows, etc; review, approve testing “Project Plans”; interface with business analysts, SMEs, development partners and clients as required; manage daily testing activities; coordinate, report testing status, estimates with management; perform QA reviews to ensure quality of deliverables; provide QA best practices/standards for team to follow. Require: MS in CS/CE. FT, Comp salary, travel involved.

Mail resumes to:
HR, Spansoft, Inc.
29451 Greenfield Rd.
Ste # 213
Southfield, MI 48076

TPOT says “So they want someone with a Master’s degree in CS or CE!?!? And this “tech company” wants you to mail – yes, snail mail – your resume.”

Job Title                                            Location                Salary              Last Updated

Quality Assurance Team Lead Ann Arbor           $12.25/hr      11/04/2011

TPOT says If they’re paying the Lead that much, I’d hate to see what they are paying testers.  Junior testers probably have to pay the company to work there.”

Software Test & Quality Assurance Engineer

Research, design, develop, and support software applications and systems for clients, focusing on testing, defect management, and quality assurance: gather and analyze clients business process to ascertain its needs and requirements in software applications…

TPOT says “Is that all – I only have to research, design, develop and support applications and systems?  Oh, ya – test it too.”

Quality Assurance Technician

 TPOT says “Technician?  Believe it or not, this was for a software QA job. Let’s see, where is my software QA toolbox?  Can you hand me the .NET wrench?

General Motor’s Needs to Recall these Job Postings

Former HP CIO has moved to GM…don’t know if he’s responsible (thru his leadership style) for these bizarre requirements:

For software test jobs, they contain…

  • Software automation experience with documented return on investment

TPOT says “At least they’re only asking for documented ROI, not a real ROI.”

Quality Assurance Business Analyst and Operations Lead-INF0004877

  • The QA Lead maintains the ability to influence projects without having to lean on authority to successfully deliver a quality product that may cross several functional teams.

TPOT says “Three jobs wrapped in one (because QA just isn’t that demanding) and, oh by the way, be able to influence people but don’t ask us for help – we can’t do this, but maybe you can.”  GM is clearly showing they don’t value quality.  Perhaps that’s why I’ve never purchased a GM vehicle.”

A posting from Modis

As a Quality Tester you will be a member of a team that has vast responsibilities. You will work directly with application Business Analyst, business customers, and project team members to identify appropriate test case coverage and related test data requirements…The whole time you will be responsible for documenting test cases and application functionality.

Skills Preferred

• Agile

TPOT thinks “Another clueless agency representing a clueless client.  Why would a “Quality Tester” (testing quality in to a product?) be responsible for documenting application functionality?  I want to work as the BA in this company!  And they want Agile, but Agile de-emphasizes documentation (actually, usually eliminates it, but that’s another story, so why are they insisting on documented test cases (almost always a poor investment)?

Here’s one that’s hard to believe…

Job Description
Quality Assurance Associate/Office Assistant

TPOT thinks “Just answer the phones, receive deliveries while you test, because you really don’t need to think or concentrate while testing.”

After this company lists all the requirements like “Supreme attention to detail” and requiring that the applicant MUST HAVE EXPERIENCE in testing and defect tracking tools, they are willing to pay a whopping $13/hr!  Oh yeah, this is a 20-30 hr/wk job too.

From Trulia.com

Work to an aggressive QA schedule including weekly live site changes, large scheduled projects and unscheduled high priority projects requiring QA.

TPOT thinks “Aggressive QA schedule – we won’t provide you with the artifact, time and resources you need so plan on putting in a lot of hours.  “…and unscheduled high priority projects requiring QA”  Remember that aggressive QA schedule we forced on the QA team?  Well, that caused a lot of production bugs and now we must have you QA the fixes that we didn’t schedule for, so plan on working even longer hours.  And don’t ask us to improve our process!”

Test Manager

from CareerBuilder

Employee Type : Contractor

Industry : Banking – Financial Services

Manages Others : Not Specified

Job Type : QA – Quality Control

Experience : At least 10 year(s)

Relocation Covered : No

Post Date : 12/16/2012

Contact Information

Ref ID : 12-06108

TPOT thinks “A contractTest Manager for 2 months – now that’s dedication and commitment to quality!  Well, at least 2 months on quality.”

 

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