Actual Job Listings from Dice

Here’s an old collection – Oh, yes, I’ll be adding newer ones – for your entertainment.  These are real posting found on DICE.  Nothing has been altered.  Some are funny; others pathetic.

Position Title: Testers

Skills required: Very stron in Web Application Testing
Location: Long Beach
State: CA Pay Rate: Keep it low
Area: 562 Length: 6 Months extendable
Term: CON_CORP
CON_IND
FULLTIME
CON_HIRE_W2

TPOT says “At least they’re honest about the pay rate 🙂  Stron testers shouldn’t get paid too much.”

Position Title: Senior Tester

Skills required: Windows Environment, manual software testing,
Location: Orange County
State: CA Pay Rate: DOE
Area: 714 Length: 6-7 weeks
Term: CON_CORP
CON_W2

TPOT says ” 6-7 weeks is more than enough time to test any app.”

Position Title: Contract Business Systems Analyst

Skills required: Business Systems Analysis, Word, Excel, Test Script
Location: Burbank
State: CA Pay Rate: Market
Area: 818 Length: 1 1/2 – Ongoing Months
Term: CON_CORP
CON_W2

 TPOT says “Testing is just another tasks that can be heaped on to a “real” job.”

Senior/Lead QA specialist needed for a 2-3 month project. Database testing of a SQL Server Database.
Lots of testing of VB screens. Plug in database information and test. Most data is in flat files.  Load into database and verify the results. Some stored procedures. They do not have a testing tool available at this time so all testing will be done by hand. Experience with BRIO and accounting applications is a plus. 1st month will be spent creating the test plan and the 2nd/3rd will be doing the actual testing.

TPOT says “Waterfall – just define all testing up-front, then just run the tests.”

Web: http://www.donmor.com

Position ID: 0708

DICE ID: donnmoor

Job Description:

Upcoming positions need to provide Quality assurance
testing for our pharmaceutical client in New Jersey.
Client is requiring that all candidates must have
pharmaceutical/biotech industry
experience.

As many PEOPLE WHO ARE OUT OF WORK GET MORE DESPERATE
SOME
PEOPLE ARE UNFORTUNATELY FALSIFYING INFORMATION ON
THEIR RESUMES AND
AS A RESULT WE WILL ONLY REVIEW RESUMES WITH 3
REFERENCES SO WE DON’T NEED TO ENDLLESSLY SCREEN
CANDIDATES.NO AGENCIES PLEASE,PLEASE! PLease
send resumes and we will call all candidates that
fulfill the requirements.

TPOT says “When you put in unrealistic requirements, you get unrealistic responses.”

Position Title: QA Tester

Skills required: Mercury Interactive and Rational Test Manager
Location: IRVING
State: TX Pay Rate: ALAP
Area: 972 Length: 6months
Term: CON_HIRE_CORP
CON_CORP
CON_HIRE_IND
CON_IND
FULLTIME
CON_HIRE_W2
CON_W2

 TPOT thinks “ALAP – As Low As Possible.”

Title: Associate Quality Assurance Developer

Skills: Human Resources or Payroll background; SQA Robot

Date Posted: 06/18/01

Location: Pleasanton, CA

Area code: 925

Tax Term: Contract (W2)

Pay: $20/hr

Length: 1 month

Email: DICEResumes@triniteinc.com

Web: http://www.triniteinc.com

Position ID: MSF010604A

DICE ID: trinite

Job Description:

We are looking for a Software Quality Assurance Developer to conduct acceptance testing, and do test

automation for Payroll and an Customer Satisfaction team.

Requirements:

1. Knowledge of office productivity tools including MS Word and MS Excel, email.

2. Knowledge of Automation development tool such as SQA Robot, or development language such as Visual Basic

3. Human Resources and/or payroll background

Highly Desired:

Experience Testing software

If you are interested in hearing more about this opportunity, please call Angela Tuscano at

408-969-9710

or email your resume to

DICEResumes@triniteinc.com(please put the DICE ID in

the subject line).

Thank you and we look forward to hearing from you.

——————————————————————————–

Contact for more information:

Trinite Inc

Trinite Inc

2700 Augustine Drive, #261

Santa Clara, CA 95054

Tel: 408-969-9710

Fax: 408-492-1699

TPOT says “Where do I begin with this gem?  Let’s take it from the top..

The title “Associate Quality Assurance Developer” – what is this?  They forgot to add Business Analyst and Project Manager to the title.  Then there’s the whopping $20/hr for a 1 month contract.  Good thing Pleasanton, CA has a low cost-of-living.  Conduct UAT and do test automation on payroll and maybe another app – in 1 month…for $20/hr.  I would make a list of everyone that applied for this job and blacklist them.  Oh ya, you should have an HR and/or payroll background, in addition to your SQA Robot and VB background.

Advertisements
This entry was posted in Job Postings, Software Testing & QA. Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s